Acceptance:

the moment of relief when you discover the courage to let go of what you cannot change.

How's your day going so far? No - really.

How much of it have you enjoyed so far? Have you just tolerated it? Have you found yourself baulking at various situations that come up continually? Wishing life and stuff were different from what they actually are? Work life, personal life, health, time of life, or perhaps regrets about the past or anxiety about the future?

As humans, we tend to have a well-honed ability to not accept things as they are. It's become a habit, and we end up struggling and fighting with things we don't like, becoming more and more exhausted and not able to enjoy or simply 'do' life.

How can you change this way of being? Have you even noticed yourself feeling like this, day in and day out? Well - there is a way you could work with these feelings and find a sense of relief, and this starts with learning to practice acceptance.

Hear me out here...

What does 'acceptance' mean?

Firstly, what it doesn't mean. Acceptance doesn't mean that you're absolutely find and dandy with anything and everything that life is giving you. It doesn't mean that you have to like it, and it most certainly does not mean that you should put up with the unacceptable, such as inappropriate behaviour - there are practical channels for dealing with this. Acceptance means acknowledging things as they actually are, and allowing that to be, rather than constantly wanting things to be different - an ideal world.

Jonathan Gibbons, in his insightful book The Way of Acceptance, argues that 'at some point you simply have to give up your resistance to what's happening around you'. Otherwise, he suggests, 'daily life will push you to the brink of insanity'.

Learning to accept situations in life, argues Gibbons, is a 'fundamental first step in bringing about positive change', and once you start this, you begin to learn that the most effective way to improve your experience of life is to change your attitude towards it. It may not change the actual conditions, but you can use it to transform how you experience it.

How a sense of acceptance can benefit work and personal life

In a work situation, acceptance can be needed most in the quiet, uncomfortable moments when a team-mate's comment stirs up something within you. Perhaps someone's way of thinking feels so far from your own. Maybe you've tried hard to achieve something and it's fallen apart, despite your best efforts. Perhaps there are tricky personalities to live with, systems that don't work as you'd like them to, cramped working conditions, a looming performance review, the possibility of redundancy.

All these situations can undoubtedly cause stress and anxiety, and the very idea of 'accepting' them seems at odds with how you really feel. Yet once you start to accept that this is how it is, that it's your interpretation and perceptions that need accepting probably more than the situation itself, this letting go can allow a feeling of relief to flood your mind and body, and from there you can take positive steps to change things. It's not always the situation that does the damage - it's often your reaction to it.

How can you cultivate acceptance?

One of the ways to develop an attitude of acceptance is through a regular mindfulness practice. The second is simply to understand and trust that an attitude of acceptance is a fundamental part of this.

Mindfulness means paying attention, on purpose, to the present moment, without judgment. What you're doing here is learning to become aware of your own body and mind. In particular here, it means being aware of when you are starting to become irritated or worried about something over which you have little or no control. This shows up in your body as perhaps tension, a headache, stomach upsets, or other physical responses.

A regular mindfulness practice can help you develop the awareness of when these mind traps are beginning to take over, sot hat you can gain the space needed to choose a helpful response, and understand what you might need in that present moment yourself, rather than to react in a less than helpful way for all involved.

Acceptance can have a positive outcome within your workplace, your family, or whatever situation you are in where you interact with other people. Increased collaboration tends to arise, stress and anxiety can decrease, which often leads to an increase in creativity. In the workplace, reduced anxiety can also help to head off the jute costs associated with absenteeism due to mental health, which in turn can have a significantly positive outcome on productivity.

Seven benefits that a regular mindfulness practice can offer:

1.   Reduced anxiety and stress

2.  Reduced emotional reactivity

3.  Increased understanding and empathy

4.  Space for creativity

5.  Reduced absenteeism in the workplace (Absence due to mental health issues cost UK business £51 billion in 2024)

6.  Awareness of personal mind traps and how to respond to them

7.  Permission to be kind to yourself

Final thought

Acceptance is not simply a personal virtue, it's an important strategic asset.

Interested?

Book a free Zoom call to see how we could work with you. We work with individuals and businesses.

www.mindfuelinspirations.co.uk

Reference:

Gibbons, J. (2022). The Way of Acceptance: A Practical Guide to Dealing with Life. Jonathan Gibbons (publisher). ISBN 978-8409440153